when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
