so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
