im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
