and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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