i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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