I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
