What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
