Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
