Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
