Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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