what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
