We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize