In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
