Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
