hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
