Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
