If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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