i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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