I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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