I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
