Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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