Your face is a jimmy john
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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