I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
