And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
