ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
