you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize