the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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