Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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