Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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