i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
