she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
