Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
