Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
