Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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