we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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