I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize