Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
