i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
