So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
