You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
