i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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