My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
