dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
