would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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