Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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