Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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