I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
