Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
