It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
