I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize