Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
