You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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