he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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