the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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