it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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