i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
