Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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