Best friends brother. Beat that.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just want nice things and good sex
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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