if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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