I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
