Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
