i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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