I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize